


Charity, Thy Name is Jennifer

by alynwa



Series: Song Stories [40]
Category: The Man From U.N.C.L.E. (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-15
Updated: 2018-02-15
Packaged: 2019-03-19 02:26:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13694934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alynwa/pseuds/alynwa
Summary: The prompt is The Doobie Brothers' "What a Fool Believes."  Lyrics follow the story.





	Charity, Thy Name is Jennifer

**Author's Note:**

> The prompt is The Doobie Brothers' "What a Fool Believes." Lyrics follow the story.

The restaurant was very family – friendly during the day and early evening, but by ten – thirty on a Friday night, it had become boisterous, profane and in an odd way, life – affirming as people, most of them in their late twenties and early thirties, celebrated minimally the end of the week and escalated from there to birthdays, promotions, engagements and other milestones.

April Dancer and her partner, Mark Slate, were sitting in a booth against the wall overlooking the bar area.  They were in Phoenix, Arizona after spending a few days wandering lost in the desert after they escaped from a THRUSH satrap.  They might still have been out there if they hadn’t come across an older couple driving cross country in their RV.  Instead, they were able to hitch a ride into Phoenix and use the dime they had been given to call New York HQ which in turn, called the Phoenix Field Office.  A shower and clean clothes later, they were practically good as new.

“It was nice of Mr. Waverly to let us recuperate here for a day before we head out tomorrow,” April said conversationally as she took another sip of her after dinner coffee.  She looked at her partner when he didn’t respond and noticed him looking at some point over her right shoulder.  “What is it, Darling?” she asked as she slid her hand into her purse to grip her gun.  “Trouble?”

“Don’t know, Luv,” he replied.  “Don’t look now, but there’s a table with six blokes over there and they all keep seeming to take turns looking this way.”

“Is that so?”  April released her Walther and pulled out her compact.  Flipping it open, she used the mirror to see behind her.  “I see them.”  She noticed that one man appeared to be the focus of whatever conversation was going on; a couple of his companions poked him and laughed before glancing at her and Mark.  “The one in the center looks vaguely familiar.” 

Just then, one of the men, the one who seemed to be laughing the hardest, stood up and managed to evade the hand of the man who appeared to be the focus of their discussion and began to walk towards them.  April snapped her compact shut and replaced it in her pocketbook, once again settling her hand on her gun.

“Excuse me,” the man said to Mark in a slightly slurred voice as he came to stand next to their booth, “my name is Grant Jeffries and one of my friends over there claims to know your…wife?”

Mark lifted his chin in a barely noticeable, but challenging way.  “For the sake of this conversation, let’s go with ‘wife.’  How can we help you?”

Grant turned his full attention to April.  “Did you go to John Adams High School in Buffalo County, Nebraska?”

“Why yes, I did.”  Before she could say anything else, Grant’s eyes widened in shock.

“Oh my God, it’s _true_?”  He turned back to his companions and shouted, “It’s true!”

“I’m completely lost; why are you so excited that I went to John Adams?”

“Your old boyfriend, Howard Bass, is a coworker of mine!  We were having drinks when we saw you two come in and he says he knows you, that you two had a thing in high school.  We didn’t believe him because, well, look at you and look at _him_!”

Taking Grant up on his invitation, April twisted around in her seat to look at the five men, four of whom were staring back and smiling while the fifth was looking like he wanted to be anywhere else.  They, like Grant, all looked to be in their early to mid-thirties.  Howard had more than a little beer gut showing and his hair was quite thin on top.  The one remarkable thing about him was just how unremarkable he looked.  Nothing about him would make him stand out in a crowd.  She stood up.  “I believe I want to speak to Howard,” she said.  “Come with me, Mark, please.”

“Oh, wow!” Grant said as he hustled ahead of them back to his table.  As Mark and April approached, she could see her “old boyfriend” visibly pale and his friends leaning towards her in anticipation.

“Good evening, Gentlemen,” she said as she came to stand directly across the table from the now furiously blushing Howard.  She stared at him for a few seconds before saying, “I almost told your friend here that I didn’t know anyone in high school named Howard.”  She was interrupted by two of the men’s loud guffaws.  She held up her hand for quiet and got it.  “I didn’t call you Howard, remember?  I called you by your middle name.”

Grant sat back in his chair.  “You called him Gordon?”

April smiled.  “Actually, I called him Gordie.  I was the only one who did.  Do you remember why, Gordie?”

Howard nodded, though he still looked a bit tense.  “Lighten up, Howard!” another man at the table said as he slapped him on the back.  “You must have been the _man_ in high school to pull a chick _this_ hot!  Why’d you dump her, anyway?”

Howard looked like he wanted the floor to open up and swallow him whole.  “Um, um, I, we, she…”

“We wanted different things, Gordie and I,” April stepped in easily.  “I wanted to go to college, travel and see the world.  I wanted to be more than what I was and bigger than Buffalo County.  I called you ‘Gordie” because everyone called you Howard and I didn’t want to be like everyone else, like _anyone_ else.”  She walked around to stand next to Howard and touched his shoulder.  “Gordie wanted a woman with more traditional values and I refused to compromise.  So, he ended it.”  She let her smile fade briefly and then let it return.  “Are you happy now, Gordie?”

Howard smiled broadly.  “I am!  I married Lucy Klinger, we have four kids and I’m the general manager of the largest hardware store in Phoenix!  How about yourself?”

“Life is good!  Mark and I constantly travel the world and I’ve seen things you would not believe.  I have the life I always wanted.”  She glanced at her watch.  “Well, we need to get going; we have an early flight.  Sorry we can’t stay longer.  It was wonderful to see you again, Gordie.”

Howard stood up and shook Mark’s hand.  “You’re a good sport for letting Jennifer speak to her first love.”

“I didn’t ‘ave much choice, Mate.  G’night.”

They exited the restaurant and went to the parking lot to the loaner UNCLE Phoenix had given them for their use.  Just as Mark unlocked the passenger side for April, they heard Howard call and saw him running toward them.  “I just wanted to thank you for not letting the guys know about my exaggerations.  I really appreciate it.”

“It was my pleasure, Gordie.  No need to thank me.  However, just so we are both clear: You were not my first love.  I liked you and I did enjoy the two dates we had, but I never loved you.  Remember, I never even kissed you.”   She was stunned when he looked at Mark, who had walked around to the driver’s side, and then winked at her.

“Of _course._  Anything you say, Jen.”  He smiled and turned to head back to the restaurant entrance.  She could hear him whistling as he walked.

“Do you _believe_ that guy?” she called across the car’s roof before getting in. 

Mark started the car and pulled out of the lot.  “So, ‘Jennifer,’ what’s his story?”

She punched him in the arm.  “Only my family and people from Buffalo County call me Jennifer, so let’s keep it that way!  As for Gordie, _Howard,_ he had a huge crush on me.  He wasn’t a bad guy, he just wasn’t that interesting.  I did go to the movies with him twice, but after that…I stayed friendly, but I never went out with him again.  He didn’t dump me, I didn’t dump him.  We didn’t have a ‘relationship’ to end.  I just stopped going out with him.  If that Grant guy hadn’t pointed him out, I would never have noticed him at all.  End of story.”

“Obviously, Luv, those two dates meant a whole lot more to him than they did to you.  Who makes up lies about dating a girl in high school to impress their friends fifteen years later?  Who cares?  I’ll bet you anything he went back in there and told his mates he could probably get you back if he wanted to!  He probably believes that he could!”

April leaned back in her seat.  “You might be right, Mark.  When we first walked over to the table, he looked like a deer in the headlights, afraid I was going to call him out on his lies.  I almost did, but then I thought: What else does he have going for himself?  So, if he wants to be a fool and believe we shared something that never really existed, who am I to burst his bubble?”

“You’re a regular Mother Teresa, Luv.  You got any other old boyfriend charity cases I should know about?”  That earned him another punch on the arm.

“Just drive, Smart ass.”    

**Author's Note:**

> "What A Fool Believes"
> 
> He came from somewhere back in her long ago  
> The sentimental fool don't see  
> Tryin' hard to recreate  
> What had yet to be created once in her life  
> She musters a smile  
> For his nostalgic tale  
> Never coming near what he wanted to say  
> Only to realize  
> It never really was
> 
> She had a place in his life  
> He never made her think twice  
> As he rises to her apology  
> Anybody else would surely know  
> He's watching her go
> 
> But what a fool believes he sees  
> No wise man has the power to reason away  
> What seems to be  
> Is always better than nothing  
> And nothing at all keeps sending him...
> 
> Somewhere back in her long ago  
> Where he can still believe there's a place in her life  
> Someday, somewhere, she will return
> 
> She had a place in his life  
> He never made her think twice  
> As he rises to her apology  
> Anybody else would surely know  
> He's watching her go
> 
> But what a fool believes he sees  
> No wise man has the power to reason away  
> What seems to be  
> Is always better than nothing  
> There's nothing at all  
> But what a fool believes he sees...


End file.
